About parentification
Role reversal in the family has been of interest to psychologists for over 50 years. What is this phenomenon and why has it attracted the attention of researchers?
Parentification can be defined as a situation in which a child takes over the role of a caregiver for his or her parent or sibling, and such a situation turns out to be beyond his or her strength. A certain expectation is created for the child that he or she will fulfill parental tasks intended for his or her guardians (Schier 2014). Data from numerous studies indicate that this altered relationship may apply to children from all social groups. Parentification is divided into two types: instrumental, i.e. one where the parent's "instrumental" duties, such as shopping, cleaning or taking care of siblings, fall on the child. The second type of parentification is emotional parentification. Emotional, i.e. the one in which the child becomes the support of its parent. It is placed in the role of a confidant, friend or sometimes even a parent's partner.
Parentification affects girls more often than boys, which may result from their natural need for care, and most often affects the eldest child who, sometimes expectedly, helps take care of siblings, taking on a role that is incompatible with himself. Women are more susceptible to parentification than men, regardless of its type (Rostowska, Borchet, 2016).
Therefore, should a parent stop entrusting the child with household chores or avoid establishing a close relationship with the child? Absolutely not. Both of these things are extremely important for the proper development of a child. However, when the parent's expectations towards the child become beyond the child's abilities, this situation may contribute to the development of psychopathology.
Let's imagine the situation of a child born abroad, whose parents speak poorly the language of the country where they live. The child may be asked to help with translating or writing an official letter, or help arrange an appointment at an office or bank. Is this too much responsibility for a child? I will answer with a favorite saying of psychologists: it depends. Depending on the child's age, social skills and even willingness. If a child is willing to help parents, such tasks can help to increase the child's level of agency and this will have a positive impact on his or her development. However, if we imagine a situation in which a child goes with his or her parent to the doctor to act as an interpreter, and is given a questionnaire to translate, which, for example, asks about the number of sexual partners or the date of last intercourse, then this limit of the child's role becomes blurs. Even if a child feels proud of being helpful to a parent, he or she may also feel ashamed of the information he or she should not have received.
It is important to remember that in situations where the child's role exceeds his or her natural capabilities, express gratitude for help and try not to abuse this help. The sense of agency can be strengthening, but too early and too much responsibility can have very serious consequences both for the parent-child relationship and for the child himself in adulthood.
Author of the article: Monika Wiśniewska
To measure parentification, we use the experimental version of the research tool Filial Responsibility Scale—Adult (FRS-A) by Gregory J. Jurkovic, Ph.D., and Alison Thirkield, MA
Bibliography:
Schier, K. (2010). When a child becomes a parent - reverse care, i.e. the phenomenon of parentification in the family.
Jolanta Żarczyńska-Hyla, Jolanta Piechnik-Borusowska. “A child as a parent – confused family roles. About parentification in world and Polish reports. Upbringing in the Family